(35). Letter from An African Psychiatrist
Are you stuck? Meaning, Motivation and the Soul Agenda
Meaning, Motivation, and the Soul Agenda
Dr Jonathan D Moch
The test of meaning is not a cognitive decision .... meaning is found, over the long haul, through the feeling of rightness within. No one can give that to us, although we may allow others to take it away from us. (James Hollis)
Context: Forty years ago, August 1982, whilst walking in a dense forest, in solitude, I heard a soft, still sound. ‘Healing the soul’, echoed around my inner, psychic space; and segued into a crescendo for weeks after. That internal uncalled communication, I interpreted, was my calling. So, as a fourth year medical student, I quickly reorientated my resources, and initiated a wandering, twisting journey into my own psyche (Greek word for soul) and the trials and tribulations of others suffering from mental anguish (-iatry: Greek word for healing).
And in the wilderness of human misery, their dark woods, I also wondered about the mysteries of the mind, of motivation, the ego, the self, purpose, dreams, the unconsciousness, morality, delusions, hallucinations, creativity and brain illnesses. And much more.
Over the four decades, I camped many times in the wild, barren desert of the mind, for example, at the edge of the mindfulness oasis, or the wind swept plains of brain-body connections, and when the ‘cloud’ lifted, I moved on. Each encampment was filled with valuable lessons about the mysterious human condition.
As I am about to cross over into my promised land, into the mid afternoon of my life, these are my core ten crystallised ‘sick soul’ insights I would like to share:
1). The most common of all human mental afflictions is depression (and all its derivatives such as anxiety, addictions, insomnia, burnout, workaholism, violence, relationship trauma and breakups).
2). A tiny proportion of severe depressives are ‘endogenous’ - their significant inherited genetic disturbance simply does not produce the appropriate amount of mood chemicals; the first episode often begins in childhood; and many, many times their condition relapses and becomes progressively resistant to medical treatments. (Tragically, suicide is a common way of ending the inner torture.)
3). A larger number of depressives have an exogenous (stress-related) causation, that is, their lives unfold in unlucky ways: multiple losses of loved ones, abusive childhoods, poverty, divorce, unemployment, toxic workplaces, sexual assaults... They, for complicated reasons, lack the resilience to bounce back from their adversities, from the stress overload, whereas, counterintuitively, about 15% of survivors develop a post traumatic growth experience. (PTG is one mystery I have applied my mind to over the last two decades.)
4). The vast majority of sufferers of long term sadness (dysthymia) have significant unresolved intrapsychic conflicts. The war is within, a raging battle between the ego and the soul; between the thinking mind and the emotional mind; narratives of their past infiltrating the present moments, clogging their streams of consciousness, blocking the humanistic hope of a better future. The struggle of their nightmares is in the deeper, darker layers of the mind, and the signals are often psychosomatic, in the realms of both emotions and body: pain or lethargy, sleeplessness or negativity, anorexia or irritability. (Symptoms often spill over the dysfunctional threshold from about age 40 years.)
5). The signals of conflict, the foundational cause, are then missed, denied, rationalised or suppressed by multiple diversions (bingeing on screen content, click bait on social media, extramarital affairs) and/or misuse of chemicals: alcohol, food, nicotine, or tranquillisers. The cries of the soul, the desperate search for meaning most commonly appears from middle age when material needs, paradoxically, are met. The whimpering sounds from the silence are snuffed out, and life becomes empty, restricted, pulled and pushed and captured by external, fleeting sensations. (Empty vessels, indeed.)
6). There are four general approaches to treating depression: firstly, and most commonly, are medications, the antidepressants, which neutralise the pain, the symptom, but do not shift the cause. Secondly, a range of behaviour techniques, such as exercise or eating superfoods, voluntary work or group participation. Thirdly, cognitive therapy, that systematically challenges thought processes, cognitive distortions, and replaces the meme with more logical, ‘normal’ ideas. Reframing misery is a common technique - ‘there is more right with you, than wrong’. (Change your thinking, change your life, sometimes!)
7). Finally, and emerging out of restrictions of short term cognitive therapy is depth psychology, which attempts to drill deep into the mind, excavating down to the foundation stones of the psyche: our core beliefs. And the most important belief is that of meaning to live. Meaningless is the gateway into depressive states; your own construction of meaning is the key to unlocking your own prison door. You simply have to reach out, explore, find, test, and insert your key into the lock, and turn it. Listen for the magical click. A hint: it lies within your soul agenda, often broadcasted in the silence of your dark night. (Humans are driven meaning-seeking beings.)
8). Unfortunately, most souls journey through life without ever finding their unique work in their brief time available on earth. That is the real tragedy of the human condition. Just thinking about it is depressing. But uplifting, energising, encouraging are my brief encounters with those where their everyday happenings are infused with purpose, with meaning, with hope and joy, with a beautiful lightness of being. (Priceless!)
9). Carl Jung, the greatest explorer of the human psyche, wrote that life is a short pause between the two great mysteries: where do we come from before birth, and what happens after we die? Who really knows, but after 40 years wandering and wondering, I know there is a soul, the authentic self, that is a central pillar and player in the anatomy of the mind: it cries painfully, when it’s growth is suppressed by the large stones of narcissism, consumerism, of fear, of diversion, of pandering to the bottomless, learnt helplessness, needs of others.
10). So then what is my promised land perhaps flowing with milk and honey? It abides in the landscape of my inner world! Hard work for sure, but my psychological lens is now transforming interpretations of unfolding events through the agenda of my progressive individuating soul. And hopefully, patiently, help guide others into shaping their deep listening skill sets: hearing their souls crying out for meaning - by paying attention, becoming mindful of the language of the soul, processing intuition, believing in the mission of the SELF. In a few words, expanding their universe of awareness by shifting, clearing out the heavy rocks of resistance. Cultivating a beautiful garden of mind, within.
Not impossible if you are curious, if you want to release trapped psychic energy and real, influential possibilities. If you are prepared to do your heavy lifting, if you have the courage to explore and find your-self, to sit quietly with your-self; to look forward to the challenge. If, you hear your calling, your soul agenda, then what? Perhaps your last chance to finally grow up? Maybe I can be of assistance?
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.
……………………………
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost
Blessings,
Dr Jonathan D Moch
Psychiatrist (Doctor of Disturbed Souls).
Appointments What's App Messages Only. 0784398889.
Thanks it was a great read
Tx. “I found your letter 35 incredibly interesting. There were lots of facts that I can relate to in my journey through life, which I seem to get through. Regards Joel..